, , , , , ,

Since quitting smoke back in December was so easy, I figured I’d try the one thing I’ve never been able to do: Gain Weight.

Now I’ve been told repeatedly over the years to buy weight gainer or protein powder, but I didn’t want to buy anything extra or change anything about my lifestyle to make it happen.

The first thing I did was get a Calorie Counter app for my phone. I quickly realized I am not getting nearly enough calories every day. I eat when hungry, and that is a lot, but apparently a lot of the foods I eat a lot of, soup and oatmeal, aren’t really fattening. Add to the added problem of every single food being low calorie, low fat, diet, low sugar, non-fattening, etc, etc, etc, and the small portions of everything nowadays and I am stuck. Inside me is a fat guy screaming to get out, but how do we free him?? How??

It’s funny how judgmental people are, they see a skinny guy calculating calories they automatically assume I am on a diet and get that weird, twisted expression on their face that says “I don’t agree, but I am too scared to vocalize it”.

It might sound as easy to gain weight as to lose it, all I have to do is sit, eat, repeat. But there is the daily work I do as well as all simply finding time to eat constantly. I had to take a poutine outside in the cold while walking the dog just to make sure I made my daily calorie count. I’m starting to avoid food that doesn’t have clear calorie counts because I don’t want the headache of calculating it myself. You can always count on McDonalds, the Gods of High Calorie foods. But how many poutines can you eat in a week?? How do people eat like this find time to go to the bathroom six times a day??

I just picture all those big girls eating salads and push on through. . . . so if you want to send me your fattening food, I’ll take it. 🙂