The truth is, I don’t care about your feelings. I don’t care how your day went, I don’t care about your friends, your relationship, or your complaints about gender issues. Also, I am not the least bit attracted to you. How could I be?
That would be gross, after all, you ARE my sister.
I don’t always treat you with sensitivity, in fact sometimes I can be a lout. That’s what brothers do, they prepare you for a life time of dealing with men. Imagine how crazy it would be surrounded by men who are only interested in you sexually or romantically?? Those guys will say anything, DO anything to get you to pay attention to them, to get you to sleep with them, so how much can you really trust what they say or do for you? I mean I’d love it if you met a really cool guy who made you happy, but I know what men are like and I don’t think that’s going to happen any time soon. You can dream though, that’s cool with me. Just don’t be mad when I snicker.
I know sometimes I say mean things, I think some of your interests, especially this new found feminism, is kind of silly. Just as I am sure that you think some of my “guy” stuff is pretty lame. That’s cool, we can agree to disagree. Just don’t expect me to join your club; if I did, it would only be to meet other girls who aren’t my sisters. Which is not the kind of guy I am.
I’m your big brother. That may seem belittling, misogynist and patriarchal, but hey, I didn’t start this family, I’m just in it with you. We can’t be equal, I don’t want to be equal with you. You’re smart and compassionate and caring, you are naive and daring and adventurous and shy. You are all kinds of things I am not, how can I equal that? We’re just different, we share the same parents but we’ve got different skills and interests. That’s just the way it is. In some things, you are far superior to me. In other things, not so much. It’s not our place to judge which things are more valued and any society that doesn’t appreciate the gifts of all people, no matter how diverse and different they may be, is not a society that should ever allow anyone to be judged. Judging others is so 20th century.
I know sometimes you hate me. I embarrass you when you are with your boyfriend and I remind you that I told you he was a loser after he dumps you at the worst possible moment. I won’t fight Mom and Dad to get you equal time with the car because that just means less time for me. I don’t ever want to see you post those kinds of pictures on Facebook again. That’s fair, I know I deserve it sometimes, but guess what?
I never hate you. Never. I may hate the choices you make, the clothes you wear, the men you date, the music you like, the movies you watch, the new haircut, your monthly mood swings, your interests, your career and all of your friends. But I could never hate my sisters.
It might sound strange to hear this, because all you hear all day is nice things from guys who want to get you naked. They agree with everything you say, they fake interest in all your causes, only to mock them behind your back with the guys. There is no such thing as male feminists, there is only big brothers and guys who want to sleep with you. I know some big brothers are nicer than I am, but this is who I am. I can try to be nicer, but I can’t act like those guys who want to sleep with you. I already said it twice, that is just gross.
I’m willing to defend you, stick up for you, give my life to save yours if needed. That’s easy, you are my family and it is the right thing to do. I cannot, however, always be nice.
I’m Big Brother. You are all my sisters. Even though we may never get along and will disagree on everything, I still kicked the guy’s ass who grabbed yours in the elevator. I don’t need your permission, that is just what big brother’s do. . . .
Everyone in comics needs to read this:
The reason I’ve been defending Tess Fowler and probably too aggressively attacking certain people is because I believe her. Not because I know her well, but because I know people like Brian Wood. The industry is full of them and I don’t like them.
Ultimately most comic book guys are harmless. But they are a big group, most of them are buddies with each other and you have to go along to get along in the comic industry.
People like Brian exist in all walks of life but the fact they write some of the most popular characters in pop culture gives them an inflated sense of self worth. They don’t need to be aggressive people because they naturally have people do things for them. They tend to be very liberal, very intelligent, and completely and utterly full of shit.
You see people like me, you know what you are getting. My public persona is abrasive but in real life I am actually quite nice. A lot of these so-called “professionals” in comics know that one bad move can put you in hot water with the fans. These people are quite nice online but tend to be complete douchebags when you meet them in person.
They are the kind of people that would never say racist things, never directly sexually harass a woman, never start a fight with physical force, never really stand up for anything or anyone except when it benefits them directly. These are the people who are nice to your face and then mock you behind your back with your friends, in a “creative” way that is not based on your race, religion or sexual orientation. Now that might not sound so bad to most of you, but to me this shows a lack of any moral code or discipline. These people are only what they NEED to be to get by, never acknowledging that they are simply enforcing the status quo, never challenging anything out of fear of being reviled.
I am sure Brian is not a bad guy. I am sure there are lots of things he does that are really good. I am also sure nobody, absolutely nobody, really knows who this guy is. Because a man who buries himself buries his secrets even deeper. I simply don’t trust people that care more about what people THINK than the truth. The only reason Brian spoke out to tell his side was because he didn’t like what people were thinking.
Well, too bad Brian. You let the mask slip and people saw your true face. Of course it won’t change anything, because 99% of the people you know and work with wear the same sorts of masks.
Those of us who bare ourselves, people who are brave like Tess who finally speak out, we see your real, naked self behind that mask and we are not impressed.