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This is probably one of the first comics I ever wrote. I don’t even remember writing it, or what it is about, but since I decided to pull it out of the archives and look it over I figured I’d post it for you all to read over too.
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Unitblack Part 1

CRAWLING

By Richard Evans

 

 

 

 

Page 1

 

Panel 1:

Establishing Shot from space, looking down at the desert world of Syhnra. The planet rotates on a reverse access around a giant red star sun.

There is no water and no polar icecaps.

 

CAPTION: THE PLANET SYHNRA, 2000 YEARS AGO.

 

Panel 2:

Above the planet, a strange anomaly appears in space. Almost instantly a giant wormhole springs to life.

 

CAPTION: ON EARTH WHAT WOULD BE MARKED AS A SIGNIFICANT PART OF HISTORY TAKES PLACE, AS THREE WISE MEN FOLLOW A BRIGHT STAR IN THE SKY.

ON SYHNRA TOO, THIS WOULD BE A DAY OF GREAT CHANGE.

 

 

Page 2

 

Panel 1:

ON THE PLANETS SURFACE: The terrain is dry and desert like. Plant life is scarce, and giant rows of exposed jagged bedrock are the only

features that detract from the flat desert plains. In the sky above the planet the wormhole opens revealing a clear view of a beautiful blue familiar planet, Earth.

CAPTION: WHAT ON EARTH APPEARS TO BE NOTHING MORE THAN A BRIGHT STAR IN THE SKY IS SOMETHING MUCH DIFFERENT TO THE PEOPLE OF SYHNRA.

TO THEM, IT IS A WINDOW TO ANOTHER WORLD, A WORLD VERY DIFFERENT THAN THE DRY DESERT PLANET THE SYHNRAI CALL HOME.

 

Panel 2:

Two naked Syhnrai, a man and a woman, gather together and look up in awe at the strange anomaly.

CAPTION: WHAT WERE ONCE SOLITARY CREATURES NOW GATHERED TOGETHER FOR THE FIRST TIME. A LANGUAGE WAS DEVELOPED WITHIN A SHORT

TIME SPAN AS THEY TRIED TO GRASP AND COMMUNICATE THEIR WONDER.

 

Panel 3:

CLOSER: A larger group of Syhn-Rai now stand together in a band. They have erected a few stone homes and are dressed in ragged basic leather or desert clothing.

Small children run underfoot and seniors sit together talking, cross-legged on the sand.

CAPTION: TIME PASSES AND THE SYHNRAI BECOME A COMMUNITY, CULTURE AND CIVILIZATION.

 

 

 

Page 3

 

Panel 1:

Time passes, and now a large sprawling city can be seen. Its architecture is very Roman and Egyptian; a desert city with a very military overtone.

The people are peaceful and well off however, and the city is clean and safe. In the center of the city a group of Syhnrai appear to be lounging

around a very small fountain. The fountain is a roughly carved replica of the Earth.

 

CAPTION: THE SYHNRAI SOCIETY PROGRESSES MUCH LIKE THAT OF EARTH, BUT WHERE AS EARTH GOES THROUGH DARK AND WAR TORN TIME, THE SYHNRAI DO NOT FIGHT OR FEUD. THEIR CURIOUSITY AND ENVY OF THE WATER RICH PLANET THAT FLOATED ABOVE UNITED THEM IN A PEACE THAT LASTED A THOUSAND YEARS.

 

Panel 2:

Time continues forward as the Syhnrai society continues to advance. The Syhnrai have advanced to a civilized state similar to Europe during the Dark Ages.

Massive stone castles rise over the populace, with sprawling ghettos below.

 

CAPTION: THE SYHNRAI ARE AN INTELLIGENT PEOPLE AND THEY ADVANCE MUCH MORE QUICKLY THAN THEIR EARTH COUNTERPARTS. IN THE YEAR THAT AMERICA WAS DISCOVERED

THE SYHNRAI TOO MADE A DISCOVERY THAT WOULD CHANGE THEIR SOCIETY FOREVER.

 

Panel 3:

Inside a medieval Syhnrai laboratory a lone scientist stands over a simple stove. He reaches in with large leather gloves to remove something cooking inside.

 

Panel 4:

The scientist raises his new discovery over his head. It is a large lens, a telescopic lens to be exact, the red light of the stove reflects brightly off the glowing glass.

 

 

Page 4

 

Panel 1:

HIGH ANGLE: Time advances to the modern day, as we look down at the desert outback of Australia. A small cloud of dust can be seen below as Arial Star runs across the sand.

 

CAPTION: EARTH MODERN DAY, OUTBACK AUSTRALIA.

 

Panel 2:

CLOSER: We can see the beautiful Arial (Blue Lightning), leaned over trying to catch her breath. She wears a little pair of blue shorts and sports bra, as

well as a pullover sweatshirt.

 

CAPTION: ARIAL STAR FINISHES ANOTHER EXHAUSTING SPRINT, PUTTING HERSELF THROUGH HER PACES IN ORDER TO SHAVE A FRACTION OF A SECOND OFF HER TIME.

 

Panel 3:

Arial leans back and wipes the sweat from her brow.

ARIAL: DAMN. THIS HEAT IS KILLING ME!

 

Panel 4:

CLOSE-UP: Behind Arial 4 Syhnrai soldiers rise from the sand, armed with medieval style energy weapons.

 

 

Page 5

 

Panel 1:

Unaware of the approaching aliens, Arial prepares to run again.

ARIAL (THOUGHT): OKAY! I CAN DO THIS! ONE MORE TIME…

 

Panel 2:

There is no way for Arial to escape and she is struck by two of the Syhnrai with their electric stun rods.

ARIAL: AIEEE!!

 

Panel 3:

One larger Syhnrai stands over Arial with his large spear thrown over his shoulder. His name is Katabat, he is the leader of the Syhnrai team on Earth.

 

KATABAT:< THIS IS GOING TO BE VERY SIMPLE. >

 

 

Page 6

 

Panel 1:

ESTABLISHING SHOT: Scene changes to modern day, looking over the green rolling hills of Ireland.

Sheep graze on a hill across from a very old and run down barn.

CAPTION: IRELAND, RIGHT NOW.

 

Panel 2:

INSIDE: The barn has been renovated into a hovel, with only a dirty mattress and a lot of trash as interior decor. STEPHEN O’BRIAN leans against a wooden post drinking from a 40 ouncer of whiskey.

STEPHEN (DRUNKENLY): OH LIZA, OH LIZA ME GIRL AND ME FRIEND…

 

CAPTION: STEPHEN O’BRIAN, FORMER IRA MEMBER, FORMER GUITARIST, CURRENTLY A DRUNKARD.

 

Panel 3:

Stephen tries to stand, leaning himself against the wooden beam as he continues his drunken folk song.

STEPHEN: THE GIRL THAT I LOVED, AN’ WILL LOVE AGAIN….

 

Panel 4:

OUTSIDE: A group of four Syhnrai soldiers creep around the outside of the barn, armed to the teeth. They are the European capture squad, to work alongside Katabat in the USA.

 

Page 7

 

Panel 1:

Stephen throws open the only broken door left on the barn causing the Syhnrai to jump aside.

STEPHEN: I SING FOR THE DAY WHEN I’M HOLDIN YOUR HAND…

 

Panel 2:

The Syhnrai stand in amazement as Stephen, totally unaware of their presence, falls flat on his face unconscious.

 

Panel 3:

One of the Syhnrai picks Stephen up and throws him over his shoulder. Another reaches down to pick up the bottle of whiskey.

 

Panel 4:

The Syhnrai alien with the bottle of whiskey smells at the bottle, then places it into a hip pouch.

 

 

Page 7

 

Panel 1:

CUT TO: A nice average home in suburban America. Nice lawn, no car in the driveway, pool in the backyard.

 

Panel 2:

INSIDE: Beautiful Felicia Fury is engaged in a huge cooking adventure in the kitchen. Pots and pans full of ingredients

lie everywhere and Felicia currently fights with a grease fire raging on one of the top burners.

FELICIA: OH SHIT!

 

Panel 3:

Felicia holds a dishcloth in one hand and a box of baking powder in the other. She is trying to lower the flames so she

can pore the baking powder on the flames.

FELICIA: STOP! STOP! STOP!

 

Panel 4:

A shadow falls over Felicia at the moment she gets the fire out. The Syhnrai aliens, including Katabat have snuck into the house unknown.

FELICIA: HA! DAMN RIGHT! STUPID GREASY BACON SHIT…

 

 

Page 8

 

Panel 1:

Felicia is caught by surprise as she turns around right into Katabat’s arms.

 

Panel 2:

Before she can speak, Katabat stuns her with a small energy rod, rendering her unconscious.

 

Panel 3:

Katabat walks over to the stove and grabs a handful of bacon from the pan. It is covered with baking soda and the grease is still hot and bubbling.

 

Panel 4:

Katabat grins as he throws the handful of bacon into his mouth. Grease runs over his chin and powder rings his mouth.

KATABAT: <NOT ONLY IS THIS EASY, BUT I AM BEGINNING TO ENJOY THE BENEFITS.>

 

 

Page 9

 

Panel 1:

CUT TO: Outside a dojo in Japan. The same four Syhnrai who earlier abducted Stephen now stand outside lying in wait.

 

Panel 2:

INSIDE: The girl known as Mantis and her teacher Jaishin stand side by side practicing their martial arts

moves.

 

Panel 3:

Suddenly the Syhnrai break through the walls of the dojo, but Mantis and Jaishin are quick to respond. They spin around

to confront the aliens almost immediately.

 

 

Page 10

 

Panel 1:

One of the Syhnrai charges at Mantis.

 

Panel 2:

She ducks and hits the alien in the neck with an overhand chop.

 

Panel 3:

Two other Syhnrai charge at Jaishin. One of them armed with a long stun staff.

 

Panel 4:

Jaishin simultaneously trips one while snatching the staff out of the hand of the other.

 

 

Page 11

 

Panel 1:

One of the Syhnrai who Mantis hit earlier holds his throat in pain. Giving him no chance to recover, Mantis

strikes him with both palms open square in the chest.

 

Panel 2:

Mantis sends her target flying backwards. The Syhnrai lands on the ground unconscious.

 

Panel 3:

The two aliens recover and resume their attack on Jaishin. The fourth one still stands frozen in place unsure as

to what to do.

 

Panel 4:

Jaishin easily swings the to the left and right side of him, stunning the two Syhnrai and knocking them over.

 

 

Page 12

 

Panel 1:

The last Syhnrai turns to run. Mantis trips him with an uppercut chop to his legs.

 

Panel 2:

The Syhnrai lands face down unconscious. Mantis and Jaishin stand over her looking down at him.

MANTIS: WHAT THE HELL ARE THESE THINGS??

 

JAISHIN: I DON’T KNOW.

 

Panel 3:

Jaishin kneels down beside the Syhnrai and removes a small palm pilot data computer from the alien’s belt.

On the screen we can see a list of various locations around the world. The ones at the top of the list include all the

places that the Syhnrai have already captured their targets; Ireland, California, Australia, Japan. The next addresses in

the list are Texas, Detroit, New York City and Baltimore, in that order.

JAISHIN: I DO INTEND TO FIND OUT. GRAB YOUR BELONGINGS MANTIS. WE ARE GOING TO BALTIMORE.

 

 

Page 13

 

Panel 1:

HIGH ANGLE: Looking down at a small restaurant/tavern off a dusty road in southern Texas.

 

Panel 2:

Out of back the restaurant, Billy Revolution sits amongst a pile of tools and mechanical parts

trying to fix the busted air conditioning unit. Inside the doorway his old and rather nasty looking step

mother looks on with disdain. Billy has haphazardly glued and screwed odd assortments of metal parts unto the air conditioning. Even though it doesn’t look like it, the machine now works.

BILLY: THERE, ALL DONE.

 

STEP MOTHER: WELL IT LOOKS LIKE SHIT!

 

Panel 3:

Billy tosses a cigarette into his mouth while scratching his head.

BILLY: SURE IT DON’T LOOK PRETTY BUT IT WORKS.

 

BILLY (THOUGHT): HUH?

 

SFX (OFF PANEL): BZZZACCK!

 

 

Panel 4:

Billy looks up to see Katabat right in front of him, his step mother has been stunned

and leans against the wall. A cigarette hangs limp from his mouth

as he looks into the eyes of the smiling Syhnrai.

 

Panel 5:

Katabat stuns Billy and catches him in his arms as he drops unconscious.

 

 

Page 14

 

Panel 1:

CUT TO INSIDE: Inside a high rise building in Detroit, Peter Jenkins sits on the

telephone listening to someone on the other end.

 

Panel 2:

CLOSE-UP: Of Peter, his face is relatively calm but he is sweating profusely.

TELEPHONE VOICE: I HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT THIS MEANS.

*CLICK*

 

Panel 3:

Peter stands up and leans against his desk quietly, his head down in shame.

 

Panel 4:

Suddenly Peter explodes in a violent rage, flipping the desk over and sending his papers everywhere.

PETER: ARRGGHH!!!!!

 

Page 15

 

Panel 1:

Peter strains hard to lift his desk up, rage giving him more strength then he would normally possess.

He is rather pathetically trying to throw the desk through the window.

PETER: FUCKIN!!! ARRRGGH!!!!

 

Panel 2:

Katabat and all eight of the Syhnrai involved in the previous kidnappings enter the office casually.

 

Panel 3:

Katabat kicks one of the office chairs at Peter, knocking him over from behind by buckling his knees.

 

Panel 4:

The rest of the Syhnrai pounce on Peter and stun him to unconsciousness.

 

 

Page 16

 

Panel 1:

CUT TO: New York City. Another high rise building, this one is a residental apartment building. A light glows in one of

the top floor bungelows.

 

Panel 2:

Inside the apartment Larissa Jones relaxes on her expensive leather couch. The place is very high class, with

lots of glass furniture and works of art on the walls. She holds a small bag of cocaine in her hand.

 

Panel 3:

Leanne reaches into the bag and lifts two small piles of cocaine out of the bag with the tips of her first

and second finger.

 

Panel 4:

Placing her two fingers up her nose, Leanne snorts the cocaine, closing her eyes in anticipation of the high.

 

 

Page 17

 

Panel 1:

Katabat enters the room as Larissa rests on the couch with a big grin on her face. Behind him are the rest of the Syhnrai aliens.

 

Panel 2:

Katabat walks over and stuns Larissa without her even waking. With his other hand he takes the bag of cocaine from her.

 

Panel 3:

Placing the bag over his face, Katabat inhales a large amount of the cocaine.

 

Panel 4:

Grinning, Katabat drops the bag of dope on the ground.

KATABAT: AH… LIKE I SAID, GREAT BENEFITS. BUT I THINK WE HAVE HIGHLY OVERESTIMATED THESE HUMANS.

 

 

Page 18

 

Panel 1:

CUT TO: Inside the darkened underground headquarters of the United States Military. Sgt Wagner and his mean sit in

front of a giant computer screen watching a world map of North America. One of the computer monitors turns

around to speak to Wagner who sits behind an intricate computer display in a giant command chair.

COMPUTER OPERATOR: SIR, WE’VE GOTTEN A LOCK ON THE U.F.O. TRAJECTORY SIMULATIONS HAVE DETERMINED ITS NEXT LOCATION TO 99% ACCURACY.

 

Panel 2:

Wagner stands, arms crossed in a very strict military manner.

WAGNER: GOOD. GOOD. CALL WASHINGTON. TELL THEM WE ARE GOING TO ENGAGE THE ENEMY.

 

Panel 2:

Using his head set microphone, Sgt. Wagner issues the orders for the military to strike.

WAGNER: STRIKE SQUAD RED MOVE INTO POSITION. ZERO TOLERANCE PEOPLE, THAT MEANS A CLEAN SWEEP.

 

OFF PANEL VOICE: SHOULD I LEAD THE STRIKE?

 

Panel 3:

Wagner turns to the sound of the voice off panel. It is Erasure. He stands partially

obscured by shadows, arms crossed over his chest.

WAGNER: NEGATIVE. LETS SEE HOW THIS PLAYS OUT. NO POINT IN REVEALING YOU TO THE WORLD PREMATURELY.

 

ERASURE: AGREED, BUT I AM GROWING IMPATIENT.

 

Panel 4:

Sgt. Wagner looks up at the huge computer monitor and scratches his chin.

WAGNER: DON’T WORRY. SOMETHING TELLS ME YOU WON’T HAVE TO WAIT LONG.

 

 

Page 19

 

Panel 1:

CUT TO: CLOSE UP of two 9mm Glocks. They are embossed with the design of a dragon with the tail pointed at the handle

and the dragons snarling mouth at the barrel. The guns sit pointing outwards.

 

Panel 2:

CLOSE-UP: OF a muscular black man from behind. He pulls a white t-shirt on, but all we can see are the tight rippling muscles, as well

as the giant celtic cross tattoo on his back.

 

Panel 3:

CUT TO: Outside of the ghetto apartment that Maki resides in, a fully armed SWAT team makes its way up the stairs.

 

Panel 4:

BACK TO: Maki St. Germaine picks up his two guns and checks their ammunition. Both guns are fully loaded.

SFX: CLICK! CLICK!

 

Page 20

 

Panel 1:

The SWAT team splits into two groups and stand on either side of the door.

 

Panel 2:

INSIDE: Maki slides his sunglasses on.

 

Panel 3:

OUTSIDE: On the fire escape outside the window of the apartment, all the Syhnrai aliens lead by

Katabat stand ready to charge into the room. Their spaceship can be seen parked in the alley below.

It looks like a small streamlined moving van.

 

Panel 4:

Katabat gestures for the Syhnrai to be quiet.

 

Panel 5:

In the hall the lead SWAT officer holds up his hand for the time to freeze.

 

 

Page 21

 

Panel 1:

Maki holds both guns in the air. He holds a smoking joint between his teeth as he stands outside the

apartment door.

 

Panel 2:

LONG ANGLE: Maki takes the initiative to kick open the door into the hallway, surprising the

SWAT team.

 

Panel 3:

With one gun pointed at each team of SWAT officers, Maki begins firing rounds at them, dropping

the cops in a bloody manner before they can retaliate.

 

Panel 4:

Maki lowers his guns slightly and looks at the dead cops. His gun barrels smoke in wispy trails,

which match the smoke coming from his joint.

 

 

MAKI: I TOLD YA’LL YOU AIN’T TAKIN THIS MOTHERFUCKER ALIVE.

 

 

Page 22

 

Panel 1:

Maki slides his guns into his belt at the small of his belt and takes drag off the joint.

Off panel a telephone rings.

 

SFX: RINGRINGRING!

 

Panel 2:

Not knowing that a group of Syhnrai aliens waits back in the apartment, Maki turns to go get

his cellphone that rests on the table. The Syhnrai are standing against the walls making them

hard to see, Maki totally overlooks them.

MAKI (THOUGHT): DAMN, FORGOT MY PHONE.

 

Panel 3:

Just as Maki picks up the phone the Syhnrai step out and surround him. Katabat is closest and

aims his stunner at Maki.

MAKI: WHAT THE FUCK???

 

Panel 4:

Electricity-like energy ripples through Maki as Katabat stuns him.

 

Panel 5:

Maki appears to fall to his knees unconscious.

KATABAT: GOOD. NOW WE CAN GO HOME. BRING HIM TO THE SHIP. THIS MISSION WAS MUCH TOO EASY.

 

 

Page 23

 

Panel 1:

With smoke rising off his skin, Maki painfully stands up.

MAKI: *GROAN* WANT TO TRY THAT AGAIN BITCH?

 

Panel 2:

Katabat turns with a wide grin on his face. The other Syhnrai stand in stark amazement.

KATABAT: WELL! INDEED THIS MAY BE FUN AFTER ALL.

MOVE ASIDE BROTHERS, I WANT TO FIND OUT IF THESE

HUMANS LIVE UP TO THEIR REPUTATION.

 

Panel 3:

Maki hits Katabat hard with a strong left cross.

 

Panel 4:

CLOSER: Katabat merely smiles at the punch, and cocks his fist to retaliate.

 

 

Page 24

 

Panel 1:

Grabbing Maki under the armpits like a small child, Katabat lifts him up into

the air.

 

Panel 2:

CUT TO: The fire escape outside the apartment. Maki sails through the window

landing on the metal stairs in a pile of broken glass. The joint hangs from his mouth limp.

 

Panel 3:

A hand from off panel reaches out to Maki to try and help him stand.

 

Panel 4:

Maki smacks the hand aside and comes face to face with Jaishin and Mantis.

Jaishin wears a long black trenchcoat and his hair is tied back in a ponytail.

His sword is worn on his back upside down, so that the handle points down

allowing him to completely conceal it and yet still be able to use it efficiently.

MAKI: WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE??

 

JAISHIN: WE AREN’T SURE, BUT WE ARE HERE TO HELP.

 

 

Page 25

 

Panel 1:

Now Maki is getting very angry and he pulls his guns out from his belt.

MAKI: I GOT ALL THE HELP I NEED WITH BETTY AND VERONICA HERE.

 

Panel 2:

Jaishin, Maki, and Mantis run down the fire escape as the Syhnrai climb

out the broken window. At the bottom of the stairs behind them is the

Syhnrai ship. Maki is down first and looks directly at the reader with a

very unhappy look. The joint drops from his mouth unto the ground.

MAKI: ALRIGHT, YOU WANNA HELP?

 

Panel 3:

LARGE PANEL: Standing in front of Jaishin, Mantis and Maki are ten Strike

Squad Red soldiers with weapons drawn and aimed at them. Above them the

Syhnrai stand with weapons drawn, looking down over the fire escape at the

situation below.

MANTIS: FUCK ME.

 

 

TO BE CONTINUED

 

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